April 13th, 2005

Subject: he says i don't care anymore. Time: 04:00 pm Current Mood: sad

throw yourself on the frigid bathroom tile, bleed your tears of discomfort, heartache and deplore; they mean nothing. your meager body will fade fast, thats what you want right? to end it all? to cease the discomfort of being so severed? the faucet drips to the beat of every pain-stricken breath you take, mocking your will to exist. oh honey, the mirror is smeared with your loathing and malignancy; with hopes of someone to break the locks of that bathroom door and read it. the pleasing pink lipstick it is written in, or shall i say furiously scribbled in, recites what was illustrious. one sentence can make or break you; one word can batter and scatter that already discrete heart of yours, but those infamous three words, yea you know the three words everyone hopes to swap with their darling, the three words that are supposed to make you feel magical and marvelous, as if you are floating away in a sea of eternal bliss; yea those three words, they can crucify everything you are; drown you in a sea of forgetting and regret (which just so happen to be your own tears). bless you with tears because you have absolutely nothing left, nothing to hold on to. your bony fingers fondle the cold tile and you secretly find warmth in it. lying there you realize that the smeared mirror is sad but true, but you see a beautiful silhouette concealed behind the hurtful utterances written in front of your very eyes. disgust encircles you, smashing your reflections with a fist of resentment. is it over? no it will never be over. but you, tormented and beautiful; will be ok.

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January 30th, 2005

Subject: lost five dollars. Time: 05:59 pm

so basically, all that matters to me lately are friday and saturday nights, everyone i see those days and everything i do those days. i obviously have no time to be upset or depressed at all for that matter...i guess that's what friends do to a girl and i possibly, like it. but i can't help but care that this is it, really, and how its time to move on, and how disheartening it is to know that i'm not sure if i want to. the parties are invigorating, especially with him. my new/old friends enjoy so much time with eachother, we sip drinks and dancedancedance and for some reason always have to be singing, which is cute. oh yea and winter, needs to be over with; warmer weather would make things so much better. that's it for now. <3

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January 28th, 2005

Subject: i'm bacccccck? Time: 11:24 am

name: janelle single or taken: single sex: female. birthday: December 8 siblings: Kelly, Angelina and gene. hair color: blonde. eye color: HazelGreenYellowish height: 5'4" r e l a t i o n s h i p s who is you best friend? Tigen[!!!!!!] do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: not exactly. f a s h i o n s t u f f where is your favorite place to shop: right now, probably amvets or forever 21. any tattoos or piercings: not as of yet. s p e c i f i c s do you do drugs?: no, honestly. what kind of shampoo do you use?: dumb blonde what are you most scared of?: being alone, &&&&whales. who is the last person that called you?: phil hall cause he loves me. Where do you want to get married?: somewhere warm what would you change about yourself?: I wish I wasnt so fucking gullible/oblivious to everything. f a v o r i t e s color: pink, white. food: CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES. boys names: pace, dylan girls names: peyton, carmen subjects in school: my school? mmm COSMETOLOGY. animals: kittens or white tigers h a v e y o u e v e r given anyone a bath?: yes. bungee jumped?: no. made yourself throw up?: yes. skinny dipped?: yes ever been in love?: yes. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: yes. actually seen your crush naked?: no. yuck. cried when someone died?: yes. lied: unfortunatly, yes. fallen for your best friend?: umm.. kind of. One of my good friends. been rejected?: yes. rejected someone? yess. done something you regret?: yes. c u r r e n t clothes: Pjs, warm ones. music: boys 2 men- Motown philly make-up: worn makeup from this morning. annoyance: my life. ew. in cd player: hanson in dvd player: NAPOLEON DYNAMITE. in vcr: getting there l a s t p e r s o n you touched: Kelly just hugged me<3 hugged: kellyyyyy you im'ed: chris you yelled at: tracy but I was telling her a story, I wasn’t being mean. you kissed: ha a r e y o u understanding: to an extent open-minded: very. arrogant: sometimes. insecure: yes. interesting: I hope so. random: HAHAAAA extremely. hungry: not right now smart: yes, sometimes I say stupid things though. moody: yes organized: not at all shy: sometimes. difficult: I can be. attractive: eh messy: most of the time r a n d o m In the morning I: drink coffee love is: fucking hard i dream about: things I want to happen o p p o s i t e s e x what do you notice first: hair, clothes, shoes. last person you slow danced with: umm.. brad. worst question to ask: "but were going to have sex, right?" URGHHHHHH. who makes you laugh the most: lately, krysta, adam and tigen who makes you smile?: my friends…all of them. Sweet talking boys. who do you have a crush on: hahaha d o y o u e v e r sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you?: helllno. wish you were a member of the opposite sex: always. Girls suck. wish you were younger: yeah...responsibility sucks. cry because someone said something about you?: yes. n u m b e r of times i have had my heart broken: a couple. of hearts i have broken: couldn’t tell ya of guys i've kissed: you honestly, dont want to know. of girls i've kissed: a couple, gets peoples attention, my goodness. of continents i have lived in: 1 of tight friends: a handful of cds i own: enough. of scars on my body: a few. 4 wheeler accident HAHAHA gold or silver: silver. . what was the last film you saw at the movies: meet the fockers. . favorite cartoon/animal: haha, uhhh.. . what did you have for breakfast this morning?: cough drops . who would you love being locked in a room with?: adam brody I N T E R E S T I N G . could you live without your computer?: probably . would you color your hair?: yeah, I have before. . could you ever get off the computer?: yes . habla espanol? A little. . how many people are on your buddy list?: 200. the maxxxx . drink alcohol?: occasionally awww janelle updated with a survey. how cute.

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